A day in the Chaos

So, another wonderful day has passed in retail during the holidays. Let me say, OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

Today was just crazy. I got in around 1pm this afternoon and didn't stop until 9:40. I had enough time to get a drink and a candy bar about half way through the day and that was it. My assistant mngr. was about to kill one of the newbs and also was still getting over her cold. I sent her home an hour early because by the time 4:00 rolled around she could hardly talk. That woman is amazing. I don't know how she does it half the time. I sure as hell don't know how I would do it without her. She could have had a store five times over. Unfortunately she is smart. She knows better than to make such a silly mistake as moving up in the wonderful world of retail. Every extra level comes with a larger boat load of crap you have to deal with.

So where she has passed the trials of hell and fire, the newb got burnt to a holy crisp. He will be on his way as soon as his warm body is no longer needed. C'est la vie. That is why I love the holiday season. You find out who can make it and who can't rather quickly. Is that cruel of me? Just curious.

Now with all the chaos came many moments that make me smile. The one reason I do enjoy retail is that I love helping people. Now I know that I could be doing that in many different fields and in probably more substantial ways but for now this will have to do. I absolutely love it when people are so glad to have a friendly knowledgeable person helping them out. One that isn't pushy but just enjoys what they do and likes to help a person. That is me. That is why I like this job from time to time. This holiday has had a large number of people come in who really enjoy shopping with us for just that reason. We as a staff have gotten a tone of "I love shopping in your store," "you all are so helpful," and "Thank you so much." That kind of feedback makes my day. We have a group of people and a store that isn't pushy, gives honest opinions and genuinely cares about making the customer happy. Can someone please tell Corp. America that this kind of business DOES WORK!!!!!! This is what running a business should be about. Not about the bottom line. I imagine those who run a business for love of what they are doing know that. My parents did when they had their restaurant and so many were sad when they closed after 10 years of service. That is why I have stayed in this job for as long as I have. I really do enjoy this job at times.

In this industry the higher ups have slowly sapped that idea from this job making it something that a trained monkey could do and in the end I am sure that is the kind of person they want in their stores. Nothing like a yes man answering your questions. "Is this a good game?" "Oh absolutely. Your 10yr old will love Grand Theft Auto." Nothing is sweeter to my ears than the mother thanking me for telling her what was in a game when the child was trying to pull the wool over her eyes. Is that mean of me as well? Just wondering ;)

So to top off all the wonderful comments today my Ast. Mngr. and I both got a gift from a loyal customer. He is an MD who has been coming to us for ages. He and his children love games and we have always tried to be straight with him on what is good and what sucks and over the last couple of years we have gotten to know him rather well. He is one of those genuine people who really is kind hearted. The kind of person who became a doctor so he could help people out. Well, we helped him make sure he got a Christmas present he was hunting for, and for that he was kind and gave us a nice little gift today. Neither of us did it expecting anything in return. We just knew it would put a smile on his face and on his kids. For that he put a smile on ours by showing that caring really is repaid in kind. Those comments from customers and that kind of holiday spirit is what really helps me through the long days during this time of year. I couldn't do it without the people I have around me in the store and if you all ever find this silly page of mine I want you to know I love you guys, you rock, and happy holidays to the best crew I could ever wish for.

Where to now?

So, I just turned 30 this past week. It doesn't change anything in my perception of life but I was reading a few of my friends blogs this evening and started thinking about where I am headed. I am a retail manager for a company that drives me nuts. The only thing that has kept me where I am for this long has been the great people I have around me. I love the people who work for me. What I don't love is that I am their boss. It puts a wall up that I despise. The people I work with are some of the best people I know and although I try and tell them just that, there is always this separation between myself and them. I am not sure if it is something I project, just basic differences between myself and them or just a fact of being their boss. Who knows.

Anyway, I just thought it would be interesting to start putting a few thoughts down some place. Maybe the writing of multiple papers for school the past few semesters has touched on a nerve. It should be interesting to see what happens when I am writing because I want to. I will apologize ahead of time for the stream of consciousness writing that I am prone to do.

So back to direction....I have none. I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. LOL I am a manager for a Gamestop after all. I am a big kid who has to act like an adult. I am such a goofball and I can't show it half the time. Ok, off on another tangent. I told you this was gonna go all over the place. You were warned. What would the world be like if we all showed our true colors all the time? We never do. We go around always showing bits of who we are and hiding the rest. We may find good friends that we can entrust with more of our true selves but how often do we show all of who we are to anyone? We all long to find that person we can do just that with but live our lives in fear of how that person will react once we do. I am so much more secure than I once was and yet at time it still frightens me. Maybe that is why I am doing this now. To open up in a world that constantly forces us to close down. Take my job for instance. I constantly have to keep myself in check. My language has to be appropriate for the person I am talking to. I have to make sure that I don't overstep my bounds with my staff or customers. I have to double check everything I say to my boss to make sure I don't leave a bad impression. It can be a frustrating task at times to constantly monitor how you react and portray yourself to those around you.

My wife is one of the few people I can truly be myself around. It was the most wonderful time of my life opening up to her and with every little thing I revealed finding out that she accepted it and in most cases echoed it. I never thought that I would find someone like that in all my life. That being said there are still times I don't say something or share a thought, but in the long run I know I can share anything with her and all will work out fine. There is no thought so refreshing as finding someone who knows you and you can truly be yourself around.

That being said I also find differing views and understandings to be just as interesting. I love learning how others perceive the world. Seeing differing views on topics is so enthralling. That is most likely why I have enjoyed going back to school so greatly. I also think it is why I have always enjoyed games and movies. They are mediums in which a person can create a world for everyone to experience. It is such a rush exploring those worlds. Games and movies are controlled environments though. People are even more interesting for the fact that they are constantly changing and dynamic. The one thing that retail has given me is a much larger view of people and their personalities. Some I have enjoyed glimpsing into and others have just scared the ever loving hell out of me. Either way it has been an interesting ride.

Well I think that is it for now. Time to turn in for the evening. I have another fun day of holiday shoppers to deal with. Maybe next time I will finally get into where I am going.